A South African veterinarian shares why euthanasia is a privilege, how the process actually works, and how to know when saying goodbye is the kindest choice.
It’s a situation I’ve faced countless times. I'll be standing on the other side of the table after helping a pet parent bid their pet farewell and the pet parent will say to me, “this must be so difficult for you.” There are many times where this rings true, especially when I’ve known a particular patient and their pet for many years, but my perspective is actually quite different.
Euthanasia is extremely difficult and heart-breaking when you’re saying goodbye to your own beloved pet, and trust me I’ve been there more times than I’d like to repeat. But as a veterinarian, being able to free a pet from their suffering is a deep privilege. Seeing euthanasia as a privilege has helped me process the sadness that inevitably comes with saying goodbye to so many beloved patients. It reminds me that, when medicine can no longer cure, we can still relieve suffering.
For most families, the decision to euthanase a pet is made not because they have stopped loving them, but because they love them so deeply that they are prepared to put their pet's needs before their own heartbreak.
Our pets trust us completely. Throughout their lives they rely on us to make every important decision on their behalf - what they eat, where they live, when they receive medical care and how they are kept safe. Making end-of-life decisions is simply another extension of that responsibility. It is perhaps the hardest decision we will ever make for them, but it is made from the very same place of love that guided every other decision throughout their lives.
Having counselled thousands of pet parents through this and facing the decision with my own beloved pets, I think we often underestimate the emotional burden of euthanasia. It seems inconceivable that we need to make the decision to end our pet’s life. The love that we share with them is incredibly special and having to choose to end that relationship permanently is a heavy burden to bear.
What I find is sometimes a bigger burden, is knowing that the decision is coming but not being sure when to make the decision. This can be in the case of an elderly pet or one that has multiple complicated medical conditions that are getting difficult to manage. To wake up daily and fret over whether “today is the day” can be particularly emotionally taxing.
Remember that whilst what your pet is going through may be extremely difficult, it is important to protect your own mental health. Discuss your struggles with your veterinarian so that they can help guide the process objectively and with their clinical experience. Consult with trusted friends or family members or even professionals that understand grief to help you through this process.
Once you make the decision to euthanase your pet, you may feel intense guilt about the decision. One often wonders if you’ve made the decision too soon or too hastily. One of the greatest fears owners have is that they are making the decision too early. Far more often, veterinarians worry about the opposite - that a much-loved pet may have endured suffering for longer than they needed to. Preventing pain is one of the greatest acts of love we can offer.
There is an old saying in veterinary medicine: "Better a day too early than an hour too late."
Not because we want to shorten a life, but because we never want a pet's final moments to be filled with fear, pain or distress that could have been prevented.
In some cases, euthanasia is the only option we have available as pet parents. This could be in cases where your pet has a terminal illness, or has been in an accident and has devastating injuries. This euthanasia decision in these cases needs to be made suddenly and without much time to consider it. This can make processing the decision more difficult because there isn’t time to come to terms with the decision. But in a sense, when euthanasia is the only option, you can have peace in the knowledge that it was the best and only decision that was open to you.
In the majority of cases though, we need to make the decision regarding euthanasia when our pet is facing a terminal illness and is slowly deteriorating. In these cases, I find it helpful to look at objective measurements to help make the decision making process clearer. If your pet is in pain that is not relieved by pain medication, or is vomiting and not able to keep food in despite treatment, or if they are not able to control their bowels or bladder, or if your pet is refusing to eat despite treatment then euthanasia may be the right decision.
Most telling for me, is if their habits shift and they are not able to carry out the parts of their lives that bring joy. For example, if they are not able to get up to greet you when you come home or they are not able to get up and go for a walk. Dogs and cats are meant to have joyful, happy lives and if they cannot do so then it is our responsibility to free them from suffering. Our goal should never simply be to add days to life, but to add life to their days.
Euthanasia is one of the most humane processes that we can witness, but that doesn’t necessarily make it easy. Understanding what to expect can help to prepare for the experience. The veterinarian will need to place a catheter in your dog or cat’s vein. Sometimes, it is less stressful for all involved to place the catheter in a separate room. This is because often your pet is trying to protect you and can get stressed when approached by other people if you are present.
If your pet is distressed, then the vet may offer sedation prior to euthanasia to reduce their stress levels.
Once the catheter has been placed then we give an overdose of strong anaesthetic. This will cause your pet to fall asleep within seconds. And then their heart will stop beating in approximately one minute. Some pets may move or cry out when the anaesthetic is injected. This is not a painful procedure, some pets merely get disorientated.
Once their hearts have stopped then their bodies slowly stop functioning. They will stop breathing and will no longer be conscious. After your pet has passed away, you may notice a final deep breath, small muscle twitches or the release of urine or faeces. These are normal reflexes that occur after death and do not mean your pet is awake or aware. Knowing this beforehand can prevent unnecessary distress.
Euthanasia is much quicker than most people anticipate but also more peaceful. The veterinary team will then help you arrange your pet’s burial or cremation depending on what is available in your area and according to your wishes.
If you research this question on social media you may get many heated opinions flying at you. Having assisted with euthanasias in every set up, in the clinic, at family’s homes, in emergencies, after a lot of thought, on my own with the pet or with the entire family present (including other pets), I have come to the conclusion that this decision is not black and white.
Deciding on whether you want to be present during the euthanasia is 100% up to you and what feels right to you. And if your service provider is pushing you one way or another, it might be best to find someone else that understands your needs.
If you want to be with your pet right up to their last breath, then request that. If you can’t bear to face seeing the process, then you deserve to have your wishes respected. It is your service provider’s responsibility to honour your wishes, respect the emotional turmoil that you are in and make the entire process as peaceful as possible for you.
When there are no longer treatments that can restore comfort or dignity, euthanasia becomes a gift we can offer to an animal that has given us years of unconditional love. It is an act rooted not in giving up, but in compassion. The heartbreak of losing a pet is real because the love was real.
Grief is the price we pay for sharing our lives with extraordinary animals, and every owner experiences it differently. If you are struggling with processing your grief or managing feelings of guilt, I hope that this article will bring you some peace. But if you are not coping well, then please reach out to a trusted loved one or professional for support and guidance.
If you are facing this decision, know that you do not have to make it alone. Speak openly with your veterinarian. Ask questions. Share your fears. Together, you can make a decision that places your pet's comfort, dignity and quality of life at the centre of every conversation.
Because in the end, our greatest responsibility is not simply to help our pets live well.
After many years as a veterinarian, I have come to believe that euthanasia is not the opposite of love - it is one of its greatest expressions.
When we choose to carry the pain of saying goodbye so that our pets no longer have to carry the burden of suffering, we are keeping the promise we made the day we welcomed them into our lives: that we would always do what was best for them.
That is the final act of kindness we can give to an animal who has spent a lifetime giving us unconditional love.
